The incredibly large and, as some would say, "evil" dragon, Deathwing, burst from the innermost layer of Azeroth this week causing effects in nearly every single zone in Azeroth. Few people know that Deathwing actually promised ponies to be given to citizens shortly after his emergence, which we have yet to see.
His promises of ponies can be seen here. His exact words are below.
"Dear Adventurers of Azeroth,
It has come to my attention that certain organizations, who shall remain nameless (Wyrmrest Accord, for one) have (Argent Crusade, too) tried to paint me (the Horde and the Alliance, come to think of it)(you know, I think pretty much everyone) in the worst light possible.
They claim that I will lay waste to Azeroth with fire and FIERY PITS OF LAVA and storms and oh-so-much mayhem and destruction.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I am not a destroyer. I am a creator. You all just happen to be standing on my canvas. I'm sure you can see that, if you just move a few hundred leagues away from your cities and towns, things will work out for both of us.
You will all see. My design is grand, the scope enormous. The world will be a much better place, I am certain, if we just tweak things a little here and there, like a few hundred thousand dragon eggs or the beaches of Darkshore. I mean, you guys wanted some water in Thousand Needles. I'm giving it to you!
If you disagree with my plans, just put a little note in the box. I'll be sure to read each and every one of them. Just don't come pounding on my door and make a mess of things. Don't send your armies against me, don't run screaming to the Kirin Tor. We can all live peacefully, together, in this great new world that I designed.
I will even give you a pony.
Now I shall take my leave of you. You have given me much in these few, short hours, including troll meat, carcasses, and the chance to sing. Until we meet again, brave souls, until we meet again.
Sincerely,
The Artist Formerly Known As The Destroyer"
He went on to elaborate on his promise shortly after
"After due consideration, I have discovered that there is no satisfying everyone with only one pony.
In the interest of everyone (and, largely, myself) I have decided to offer you a chance to discover which of my many ponies is right for you!
http://www.hasbro.com/mylittlepony/en_US/discover/meet-the-ponies.cfm
Laser eyes? Fiery wings? Molten scales? I'm sure those are in there, provided you answer openly and honestly.
Once Cat - I mean the redecorating - happens, feel free to come right to my doorstep. Just you. No friends, and certainly not the Kirin Tor. Leave your weapons at the front gate, and your precious little pony will be waiting for you just inside.
Past the FIERY PITS OF LAVA!. Don't worry about there not being enough ponies. Half of you will remain standing in the fiery pits for whatever reason while it burns you alive, screaming for a priest or something called a 'drood' to rescue you. Your safety is entirely up to you.
(For those of you here for something other than the pony or the phat lewts, such as joining my vision of a new world, please take the second door to the right. No one ever seems to come out of the other door. I'm sure it's because of the ponies. Yes, you will still get a pony of your own. It will just be cooler.)
To you that dare challenge my dreams of a better tomorrow, the only thing I can say is: You're gonna need a bigger boat. And one that's lava-proof. I don't know why the ponies won't convince you, but I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. Besides, we all go a little mad sometimes - haven't you?
/bow
Sincerely,
The Artist Formerly Known As The Destroyer"
You know, I can forgive him for causing the massive cataclysm, killing countless citizens of Azeroth, nearly eliminating the Blue Dragonflight and trying to take over the world with brutal tactics. But lying? About ponies? DEATHWING! THIS IS GOING TOO FAR. YOU. WILL. SUFFER. I mean, why would you lie about this? Give out ponies and suddenly everybody is going to be on your side, Deathwing! Taking over the world will be that much easier! I think you know what you need to do, buddy.
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