An Open Letter To The Girl I Met At Whose Live Anyway

Hi.
What's up?
We were seated around seats 340? Remember I'm the weird kid with brown hair and the weird laugh?
No?
Well, I forgot your name. It's nothing personal, I am just not a fan of names. Too easy to lose or forget.
Marina?
Malina?
I remember your last name was something I couldn't spell without someone spelling it out. Probably a Z or Q in there somewhere...
You had a yellow shirt, brown hair, black glasses, black shoes, black coat, grayish sweatpants...

I remember all that but not your name. Huh.

I don't mean to obsess over you, stranger...But isn't it amazing? How arbitrary life is. Friendships, relationships, last for years, lifetimes even. To have one end before it began because of bad memory....It's so fickle, isn't it?

Or maybe you discarded my name on purpose. I was never good at reading people









I mean, you probably didn't even treat our meeting as anything special. But anyway, it was a nice experience. I'll miss the relationship we never had.

You said you didn't have many friends. Maybe you just thought I was the weird guy next to you....But I'm sorry I can't help fill that void.

-Jimmy D

Everybody Hates Animal Lovers/ Daily Show Camel.

Amidst the protests of my homestate of Wisconsin, one show thought to bring a camel to the area. Unfortunately, camels are not known to be incredibly graceful creatures, nor are they known to transverse icy streets often. The camel got it's foot stuck in a barricade briefly and suddenly everyone starts flipping out. But they're forgetting one thing:

It's a freaking camel. They're not made of glass. In fact, I highly doubt ANY animals are made of glass. Tripping isn't going to kill an animal; it'll inconvenience it at best. Whenever there's even a CHANCE of an animal getting slighted in any possible way, these animal lovers immediately get into a froth about the whole thing. But there is no thing. The camel got stuck and fell over. They decided to call the whole thing off after that. It's so freaking annoying.

Nobody likes you, animal lovers. Except for maybe other animal lovers.

I Haven't Updated Recently Because You Offended Me

Remember that dinner party a month ago? You don't?

That is SO typical of you.

I had a brand new haircut. Brand new clothes. You walked right by me without saying hi. Jerk.

I'll try to start updating again but my heart, it is injured.

Conservapedia is Hilarious

Conservapedia is a website that was shocked when they "saw" how biased Wikipedia was. It was, of course, a liberal bias. Instead of creating a website that was seen as completely unbiased, they created a site with even more conservative bias, so everything balanced out. Or something. Pretty much everyone agrees that Conservapedia isn't a very valid website in any area. In some cases, they might even make you laugh and say "This must be a joke! There's no way they believe that!" Here's a few entries that had me saying that.

"However, Charles Darwin originally based the idea of human evolution on a racist assumption, [after God was rejected as Creator], made in the late 1830s, that Fuegians (natives of Tierra del Fuego) resembled primates that he had observed in the London zoo."

A liberal (also leftist) is someone who rejects logical and biblical standards, often for self-centered reasons. There are no coherent liberal standards; often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention, and who uses many words to say nothing.

Democrats and most media outlets in the U.S. are blatantly liberal

• Liberals typically support a "mixed" economy, a policy similar to that of fascism

• Liberals claimed a monopoly on compassion, decency and social justice (as defined by themselves), posing as the sole defenders of civic virtue against a horde of backwoodsmen, racists, and religious fanatics.

One definition of liberal is anything that is not conservative. For example, the American Heritage Dictionary includes this definition of "liberal"

• Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas ...

Unlike Christianity , which is supported by a large body of evidence, atheism has no proof and evidence supporting its ideology.

The gay life consists of immoral sexual activity, particularly homosexual or bisexual

The term "orientation" is particularly favored by those who are promoting public acceptance of homosexuality.

Is it me or is countering a website you view as biased with a website that's even more biased to the point of hilarity a really stupid thing to do?

BREAKING NEWS: Deathwing Breaks Promise On Free Ponies?!

The incredibly large and, as some would say, "evil" dragon, Deathwing, burst from the innermost layer of Azeroth this week causing effects in nearly every single zone in Azeroth. Few people know that Deathwing actually promised ponies to be given to citizens shortly after his emergence, which we have yet to see.




His promises of ponies can be seen here. His exact words are below.

"Dear Adventurers of Azeroth,

It has come to my attention that certain organizations, who shall remain nameless (Wyrmrest Accord, for one) have (Argent Crusade, too) tried to paint me (the Horde and the Alliance, come to think of it)(you know, I think pretty much everyone) in the worst light possible.

They claim that I will lay waste to Azeroth with fire and FIERY PITS OF LAVA and storms and oh-so-much mayhem and destruction.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I am not a destroyer. I am a creator. You all just happen to be standing on my canvas. I'm sure you can see that, if you just move a few hundred leagues away from your cities and towns, things will work out for both of us.

You will all see. My design is grand, the scope enormous. The world will be a much better place, I am certain, if we just tweak things a little here and there, like a few hundred thousand dragon eggs or the beaches of Darkshore. I mean, you guys wanted some water in Thousand Needles. I'm giving it to you!

If you disagree with my plans, just put a little note in the box. I'll be sure to read each and every one of them. Just don't come pounding on my door and make a mess of things. Don't send your armies against me, don't run screaming to the Kirin Tor. We can all live peacefully, together, in this great new world that I designed.

I will even give you a pony.

Now I shall take my leave of you. You have given me much in these few, short hours, including troll meat, carcasses, and the chance to sing. Until we meet again, brave souls, until we meet again.

Sincerely,
The Artist Formerly Known As The Destroyer"

He went on to elaborate on his promise shortly after

"After due consideration, I have discovered that there is no satisfying everyone with only one pony.

In the interest of everyone (and, largely, myself) I have decided to offer you a chance to discover which of my many ponies is right for you!

http://www.hasbro.com/mylittlepony/en_US/discover/meet-the-ponies.cfm

Laser eyes? Fiery wings? Molten scales? I'm sure those are in there, provided you answer openly and honestly.

Once Cat - I mean the redecorating - happens, feel free to come right to my doorstep. Just you. No friends, and certainly not the Kirin Tor. Leave your weapons at the front gate, and your precious little pony will be waiting for you just inside.

Past the FIERY PITS OF LAVA!. Don't worry about there not being enough ponies. Half of you will remain standing in the fiery pits for whatever reason while it burns you alive, screaming for a priest or something called a 'drood' to rescue you. Your safety is entirely up to you.

(For those of you here for something other than the pony or the phat lewts, such as joining my vision of a new world, please take the second door to the right. No one ever seems to come out of the other door. I'm sure it's because of the ponies. Yes, you will still get a pony of your own. It will just be cooler.)

To you that dare challenge my dreams of a better tomorrow, the only thing I can say is: You're gonna need a bigger boat. And one that's lava-proof. I don't know why the ponies won't convince you, but I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. Besides, we all go a little mad sometimes - haven't you?

/bow

Sincerely,
The Artist Formerly Known As The Destroyer"

You know, I can forgive him for causing the massive cataclysm, killing countless citizens of Azeroth, nearly eliminating the Blue Dragonflight and trying to take over the world with brutal tactics. But lying? About ponies? DEATHWING! THIS IS GOING TOO FAR. YOU. WILL. SUFFER. I mean, why would you lie about this? Give out ponies and suddenly everybody is going to be on your side, Deathwing! Taking over the world will be that much easier! I think you know what you need to do, buddy.

Pokemon Profile Picture Month

When on Facebook you'll inevitably come across various fads. One might require you to post something as your status or change your profile pic. This month is December. What do you associate with December? That's right! Pokemon! It's Pokemon profile picture month. You change your profile picture to any Pokemon you want because that's the Christmas spirit.

I was going to set mine as Ponyta, but someone else took Rapidash and it would seem like I was copying them.
Screw you, Rapidash. Unicorns SUCK. Ponies are where it's at.

With Ponyta no longer an option, there was only one path left for me to follow.


Jesus is now my profile picture. He kicks all kinds of Pokemon ass.


Jesus: Savior Pokemon

Passive: Resurrected after 3 turns if KO'd. Then kinda leaves.


Cast First Stone: Enemy Pokemon are unable to attack Jesus for the rest of the battle.

Heal: Jesus heals himself, and all of his trainer's Pokemon to full health.

Preach: Jesus reads passages from the Bible, causing all enemy Pokemon AND their trainer to fall asleep.

Condemn: Jesus condemns enemy trainer to hell for all eternity, instantly winning the battle.

Cataclysm: The Begginning

THE SHATTERING HAS HAPPENED.

The climactic arrival of Deathwing has sundered the world, affecting all zones....Well, about half, really. Some zones are barely changed (BE, NE, Draenei starting zones) while some are incredibly changed (Barrens, Darkshore) Here's some picture of my travels.